SAG HARBOR, NY — In what local residents are calling "peak Hamptons," a man was reportedly shocked to discover a watermelon priced at $85 at the upscale grocery store Citarella, only to have his wife calmly explain that this was completely normal.
"I was just trying to get some fruit for the kids," said local resident Mike Thompson, 42. "I saw this watermelon and thought the price tag was a mistake. I mean, it's just a watermelon, right? How expensive can it be?"
The answer, according to his wife Jennifer, is "very expensive, but totally worth it."
The Wife's Logic
"The heirloom tomatoes are $25 each, so the watermelon is 3 and a half tomatoes," Jennifer Thompson explained matter-of-factly. "That's actually a pretty good deal when you think about it."
When pressed about the math, Jennifer elaborated: "Well, if you're already paying $25 for a single tomato, then $85 for a watermelon that feeds the whole family is practically a bargain. Plus, this isn't just any watermelon - it's a Citarella watermelon."
Citarella's Pricing Strategy
Citarella, known for its premium grocery selection and equally premium prices, has defended its pricing strategy. "We're not just selling food, we're selling an experience," said store manager Pierre Dubois. "When you buy a watermelon from Citarella, you're buying the assurance that it's the best watermelon money can buy."
The store's pricing philosophy appears to follow a simple formula: take the regular price of any item, multiply by 4, and then add a "Hamptons premium" of 20%. "It's not that we're expensive," Dubois explained. "It's that our customers expect to pay more for quality."
Local Reactions
The incident has sparked debate among local residents about what constitutes reasonable grocery prices. "I used to think $8 for a gallon of milk was expensive," said East Hampton resident Sarah Kim. "Now I'm grateful when I can find it for under $15."
Others have embraced the high prices as part of the Hamptons lifestyle. "If you can't afford $85 for a watermelon, you probably shouldn't be shopping at Citarella," said local food blogger Amanda Rodriguez. "There are plenty of other stores for people with regular budgets."
The Math Breakdown
Jennifer Thompson's calculation has become something of a local legend. Here's how she breaks it down:
- 1 heirloom tomato = $25
- 3.5 tomatoes = $87.50
- Watermelon = $85
- Savings = $2.50 (practically free!)
"See? We're actually saving money," Jennifer said. "Plus, the watermelon will last longer than tomatoes, so it's really more like getting 4 tomatoes for the price of 3.5."
What's Next?
Local economists are studying the "Citarella Effect" on Hamptons pricing. "We're seeing a phenomenon where high prices actually increase demand," said Dr. David Chen, professor of luxury economics at East Hampton University. "People want to pay more because it makes them feel special."
As for the Thompson family, they're now regular customers at Citarella. "We've learned to embrace the lifestyle," Mike said. "Yesterday I bought a $12 apple, and you know what? It was the best apple I've ever tasted. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself to justify the cost."
This article is part of our ongoing series "Hamptons Grocery Economics: Where $85 Watermelons Are Considered Reasonable."